Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
– Carol Burnett

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
– Ellen DeGeneres

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
– Jean Kerr



 I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
– Carol Leifer

A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
– George H. Mead

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
– Richard Nixon, U.S. President

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
– Mark Twain

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax–tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
– Pearl Williams